


I Found My Home Within Your Arms

by anastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fallen Angels, Fallen Castiel, First Kiss, Fluff, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, M/M, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 07:51:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastiel/pseuds/anastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The newly human Castiel misses heaven and is having trouble sleeping and Dean finds a way to comfort him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Found My Home Within Your Arms

In the middle of the night, when he cannot manage to get his newly human form to drift off to sleep, Castiel likes to go up to the observatory and watch the stars. The vast expanse of twinkling, burning stars in the universe has always fascinated him. They remind him of his home.

Tonight he is more homesick than normal, the ache for heaven is heavy in his heart and tears prick at his eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. He climbs up the stairs to the observatory blindly, almost habitual, the cold concrete steps like ice against his bare feet. A warm mug of tea is clenched tightly in his hand, it helps make him sleepy.

When he reaches the top step, he sits beneath the large telescope, cross legged, and sets the mug of tea next to him with a dull thump. He tilts the telescope back towards his eyes with his hand and turns the dial, focusing the lens. Cas continues turning the dial until the stars are illuminated brightly and clearly. His lips tip up into the hint of a smile at the sight before him. The galaxies and trillions of stars stretch out in front of his eyes, awesome and beautiful.

Tears start to fall from his eyes and his soul yearns for the home he was cast out of. The stars change to tiny dots, his tears blurring the view in front of him, and Castiel moves his head away from the telescope. His tears turn to sobs and he covers his face with his hands. He hates emotion, this stupid bubbling up of pain that feels like a wound in his chest, aching and relentless. It physically hurts and all he can do is cry. Cas doesn’t notice someone else is in the room until he hears Dean speaking his name and feels a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Cas? You okay?” Dean asks, kneeling beside him and grabbing his wrists, dragging Cas’s hands away from his face.

“I’m fine,” Cas answers quietly, pulling away from Dean’s grasp and wiping the tears off his cheeks, not meeting the other man’s eyes.

“Yeah and that’s a load of bullshit, talk to me, what’s bugging you?” Dean questions, sitting next to Cas on the top step, watching him intently.

Cas sighs and fiddles with his hands, a nervous human quirk he has acquired. “I miss heaven. And humanity isn’t at all what I thought it was… I didn’t want to fall like this, Dean. I didn’t have a choice, he took my grace from me,” Cas answers, biting his lip to keep the tears at bay. He doesn’t want to cry anymore in front of Dean. Dean listens silently as Cas continues, “However, I am glad that I am here with you… and Sam. I do not know what I do if I was by myself.”

“It’s gonna be hard, I’m sure but… I’m glad you’re here too, Cas,” Dean replies with a smile. Castiel raises his eyes to Dean, smiling slightly.

“So why are you up here?” Dean asks curiously, looking up towards the opening in the ceiling where the telescope is pointed.

Castiel follows his gaze, “It makes me feel closer to heaven,” he replies simply. Dean nods, leaning forward, bringing his eyes to the opening and looking through it.

“Wow, that’s awesome! What’s that cluster of stars there?” Dean asks. He is generally curious but also figures that if he can distract Cas from emotions for awhile, maybe the former angel won’t feel so bad. Cas takes the telescope from him and moves a bit closer to Dean so he can see.

“That’s a part of the Milky Way and Sagittarius,” Cas replies, pulling away so Dean can look again.

Dean moves the telescope over a few inches and grins, “Hey that’s the big dipper!”

Cas smiles, “You would be correct.” he pauses and moves Dean’s hand so he can take the telescope back, “Would you like to see my favorite star?” he asks, turning the telescope the opposite direction until he finds a rather bright star surrounded by a cluster of dimmer stars. Dean scoots over close to Cas so their legs are touching and looks through at the star.

“What’s that one?” he asks.

“That’s… Dean,” Cas says, blushing slightly but smiling. Dean pulls away abruptly and stares at him in astonishment.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me! There’s no way there’s a friggin’ star named after me!” Dean says in disbelief.

“A few years ago, after the Apocalypse, I noticed that there was a beautiful unnamed star in the middle of the galaxy, it was a rather new star that my brethren had forgotten, so I named it… after you,” Cas says, glancing down, slightly embarrassed. Dean’s mouth opens then closes, he doesn’t know what to say. What the hell do you say to that?! Dean licks his lips, pausing and then speaks, “Why… why would you do that?”

Cas can’t meet Dean’s eyes, his heart is pounding so quickly in his chest, he is sure that if it beats any faster he will certainly die. He can’t tell Dean this, not this. It’s too soon, he only just recently realized what kind of influence Dean has had on him and how much more than just a friend Dean is to him. Plus, Dean is still mad at him, Dean’s always mad at him for something. He can’t…

“Why do you think?” Cas says finally, raising his eyes to Dean’s. The hunter just stares at him, in astonishment and admiration, Cas can’t tell, but he knows that what he’s not saying, Dean understands. The silence is deafening and Cas is certain Dean can hear his heart thumping louder by the second. Dean slowly leans forward and cups Cas’s cheek with his palm, running circles into his skin with his thumb. He has an odd little smile on his face that Cas has never seen before but he can’t thinkstraight because Dean is touching him and right now everything is right in the world.

Dean closes the distance between them and gently brushes his lips against Cas’s. The feeling of ecstasy that soars through Cas’s body would bring him to his knees if he hadn’t already been sitting down. Dean starts to pull away to make the kiss brief, but Cas grabs onto his shoulders with shaking hands and pulls him back in. Dean tastes like everything Castiel had imagined and it’s addictive, he doesn’t ever want to stop. Cas needs to taste him, to run his fingers across every plane of Dean’s body and to worship him with a thousand kisses. Because Dean makes every single thing he’s ever done worth it.

Cas pulls away a few minutes later, panting and shaking so much he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop kissing Dean but he cannot go further, he’s too overwhelmed. Dean wraps his arms around Cas and pulls him into his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Dean?” Cas pips up quietly.

“Hmm?” Dean responds, raising an eyebrow.

“Thank you,” Cas answers, intertwining their fingers together.

Dean laughs lightly, “For what?”

“Everything,” Cas says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Dean rolls his eyes at him, “Yeah, yeah you’re welcome,” he replies pressing a kiss to Cas’s cheek and the other man closes his eyes, sighing happily. He snuggles up against Dean’s chest, pulling Dean’s arms around himself more. Cas thinks he’s found his new home within Dean’s arms.

“Well, if you’re gonna get all comfortable why don’t we just move to my room and maybe you can get some sleep huh?” Dean says.

“Okay,” Cas consents, his voice sounding more tired by the minute. Dean releases him to stand up then reaches down and helps Cas to his feet. He wraps his arm around Cas’s waist and they head back downstairs together towards Dean’s room. Once inside, Cas immediately crawls into Dean’s bed, pulling the covers up around his neck and settling in. Dean flicks off the light and climbs in next to him, scooting over to wrap his arm around Cas’s waist, pulling him backwards against him. Cas snuggles up next to him, covering Dean’s hand with his own.

“Get some sleep, angel,” Dean whispers.

“But Dean.. I’m not a-” Cas starts to argue before Dean cuts him off with a kiss on the neck.

“You’ll always be my angel, Cas,” Dean says and Castiel’s heart warms with adoration and a smile lights up his face. In no time at all, they are both fast asleep, and Castiel finds that when you’re in the arms of Dean Winchester, sleep comes easy.


End file.
